How Nebulous Eye Was Named

To Go Boldly…

Captain Brandt drummed his fingers on the scanner console impatiently. It didn’t normally take this long to get an accurate reading on… Well… Whatever it was out there.

“This is starting to get on my nerves,” he muttered under his breath. “Lieutenant, are you getting anything?”

Nudds swivelled his chair to face his commanding officer.

“No, sir. Just a lot of colours. The scanner can’t make head nor tail of it, although I’m hopeful it has neither.”

“You think it could be alive?” Captain Brandt almost spat the word.

“Hard to say, Sir,” Lieutenant Nudds swung himself back around to face his own readout, “but it does seem to be reacting to our movements.”

“Are the engines back online yet?”

“Thompson’s in the bay, trying to get them up and running. Just one would do. Then, at least, would could get out of here.”

“Does it look dangerous to you, Nudds?”

“It’s dangerously beautiful, sir. And nothing scares me more than that.”

The swirling mist of colours surrounded the ship. It was like nothing Captain Brandt had ever seen before. In the same moment it was barely there at all, a disparate cloud of pink, blue, and green particles, and everything the crew could see, feel, or imagine. It was temporary and eternal all at once. Gentle and violent in the same movement. Beautiful, yes, Nudds was right; but terrible too.

Captain Brandt shifted uncomfortably in his seat. A thought had entered his mind and it had perturbed him. But now he’d thought that thought, he couldn’t unthink it. Instead, he allowed it to escape his lips (perhaps against his better judgement).

“Open a channel.”

“A what, sir?”

“A comms channel. Let’s see what this pretty little blob has to say.”

“Pretty little blob…” mumbled Lieutenant Nudds as he scrolled through the available frequencies looking for a free line. “Reminds me of an ex-girlfriend when you put it like that… Channel’s open, sir.”

“This is Captain Anders Brandt of the Good Ship Arcanaut,” boomed the commander in chief. “We have travelled to this part of the galaxy on a mining mission. We mean you no harm. Perhaps we could share knowledge for the betterment of both our species and part ways in peace.”

“Better than in pieces,” Nudds chuckled under his breath.

There was no response.

“Is the translator on?”

“Yes, sir. I’ve set the spectrum as wide as possible. It should be able to interpret any language known to have been spoken between the backside of Mercury and the Plotonian Outpost for the past two thousand cycles.”

“Excellent.”

“Except Welsh, of course.”

“Why on Earth did you not include Welsh?”

“Well, sir, there are two reasons. Firstly, Welsh would require us to use more Ds than we have in stock, and secondly, if it’s Welsh, I don’t think we have much of a chance against it at all.”

“Why ever not? We have a fully armoured ship. It’s just a cloud!”

“Yes, sir, but think about it. If it’s a Welsh cloud then it’s a long way from home. I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’d dare stand in the way of a Welsh cloud trying to make it back to Wales.”

“Fine. It’s probably not Welsh anyway.”

“True, could be Scottish.”

“It’s probably not from the British Isles, though, is it. It’s an apprently sentient cloud of Space Dust. What makes you think it’s most likely from, I don’t know, Cardiff, or Glasgow?”

“Well, it’s giving me ‘the eye’, sir.”

“The eye?”

“Yes, sir. The ‘You don’t wanna mess with me’ eye. You’ll see that as commonly in Glasgow as you will traffic cones in the wrong place.”

The cloud suddenly lurched into action. It grew and shrank, densified and dissipated. It flexed and folded, flipped and fidgeted. Within a handful of jiffies it became every colour of every rainbow that ever was or ever will be seen by every pair of eyes in every universe. And at its centre, a swirling core emerged. A concentration of colour so intense, it felt as if it was burning a hole into the soul of any creature who dared fixate on it for too long.

Without warning, the comms system crackled into life. The voice that came through the speakers was cold and dispassionate, but clear and calm.

 Why oh why have you come here,
So far away in Space,
You’ve left you home and all that’s dear,
To reach this lonely place,
I wandered once too far from home,
Not knowing what I’d done,
In search of gold and stories too,
Of battles, wine, and fun,
But soon the path behind me bled,
From view and turned to dust,
And hopes of seeing home again,
Are hopes I cannot trust,
Why are you here, adventurers?
Do I amuse you some?
Will you give me cause to smile,
Or reasons to be glum?
Tell me quick and make it short,
For you don’t know that I,
Have something in the oven now,
And no one likes burnt pie.

“Is it serious?” Captain Brandt said out of the side of his mouth.

"Might be an issue with the translator,” said Nudds, giving the console a whack. “Hm, no, seems legit. Obviously a fan of cooking.”

“Well, as least that’s something we have in common.” The Captain’s stomach rumbled. “Tell me, oh Nebulous Eye, from where do you hail?”

“Nebulous Eye,” Nudds pursed his lips and nodded, impressed. “Nice one.”

There was a pause. The Nebulous Eye seemed to like its new name also. It stalked the ship, studying the Captain and Lieutenant, assessing their intentions and whether or not they could be trusted… Perhaps they could help it get home after all these years…

 

“Swansea,” said the cloud over the loudspeaker. “I don’t suppose you’re passing?”